did not believe i would be ever doing this. am sitting in office and typing blogs. am not too sure if im allowed to this or not. but what the hell. im still new. this is the famed statesman. hallowed. glorious. whatever. frankly speaking, i hate it. i just want to go back home. never thought i'd love the sight of home this much.
what is most appalling is the kind of stories i have to handle. (like everyone else i guess). egs? ok here goes. today i've done a story of muslims worshipping hindu goddesses, well constructors beibng saved and maoist alerts being issued. plus some dumb grievances. ok i have a grievance of my own. the people who write in those stuff shud at least get the english right!!!!!!!disaster!
neways, more later.
Sunday, June 04, 2006
Tuesday, April 04, 2006
it seemed very strange to me today as i sat there. maybe it was a combination of the lake and the wind in my face, but as i sat in the gathering dusk i distinctly felt i was seeing a part of me that i was about to leave behind. it was almost as if i had a vision of this very evening, from a vantage point of several years down the line. im not quite sure if all of this makes any sense. infact im inclined to agree with aveek when he says that "lake er dhare elei sala shobai philosopher hoye jaye". but there was something. i dont quite know what it was. where would i be, where would all these friends be, where would the charm of this evening be tomorrow? it all sounds a little melodramatic now as i type in my room, but the feeling doesnt go away. someone had told me about this thing called a future memory where the present became a memory in itself. i guess that's what it is. as i sat there i could see the whole world before me with my hopes and big dreams. but all dreams come at a price. do i really want to take off from here and go away from all that i have come to know and love, or hate, during these past three years? moving away is not one of my forte and here i have a world which i have built, where i am acknowdged, for whatever it is worth as myself, no strings attached. yet i know i have to go. go somewhere i have never been before. that's a challenge, that's my dream. but then where does this evening go? where does this present go?
Sunday, April 02, 2006
impact art
awesome play. credit--bodhi, didi and gogo. i swear, the level of impact had me totally stumped. let me illustrate. my mum, who was, incidentally, seeing the play for the first time, had no clue that there were no water bottles, several apples, chlormints and will/scripts in the "original". ive never quite enjoyed an evening as much as i did today. and i had added entertainment in the form of arunabha. altogether, a great, if not weird, time. too bad people missed out on this one. u rock guys!
Friday, March 31, 2006
nothing
I've got no deeds to do, no promises to keep
I'm dappled and drowsy and ready to sleep.....
nothing, nothing, nothing. nothing to do. that day someone asked me what we famed JU people do after class or when we have some spare time. with all due apologies to srijani and debo (i know i deserve that kick. i really do), i told him the naked, unflattering truth--nothing. we hang out at monida. that's it? that's it. so what's my routine like? wake up, go to college (this involves a lengthy what-the fuck-do-i-wear-? session) and then--do nothing. we play bridge and gloriously lose by 2000 points. then we wear bridge out and go and sit at monida. we stare at each other. we stare some more. something needs to be done. debo, say something earth-shattering. debo--"ady's play was bad"...we make plans to go to dolly's (our ONE escape route), we create plans worthy of the great KGB/CIA to avoid the avoidable and then bitch about the avoidable. we even crack jokes--"Ma muffed, me miffed"--with saumava leading the way. we accept that the heat has got to us. but miss college? no way!!!! therein lies the paradox. if you can solve it kindly let me know. at least there'll be something to look forward to--other than nothing....
I'm dappled and drowsy and ready to sleep.....
nothing, nothing, nothing. nothing to do. that day someone asked me what we famed JU people do after class or when we have some spare time. with all due apologies to srijani and debo (i know i deserve that kick. i really do), i told him the naked, unflattering truth--nothing. we hang out at monida. that's it? that's it. so what's my routine like? wake up, go to college (this involves a lengthy what-the fuck-do-i-wear-? session) and then--do nothing. we play bridge and gloriously lose by 2000 points. then we wear bridge out and go and sit at monida. we stare at each other. we stare some more. something needs to be done. debo, say something earth-shattering. debo--"ady's play was bad"...we make plans to go to dolly's (our ONE escape route), we create plans worthy of the great KGB/CIA to avoid the avoidable and then bitch about the avoidable. we even crack jokes--"Ma muffed, me miffed"--with saumava leading the way. we accept that the heat has got to us. but miss college? no way!!!! therein lies the paradox. if you can solve it kindly let me know. at least there'll be something to look forward to--other than nothing....
Saturday, March 25, 2006
happy birthday!!!!22 fucking years!!!!you're old enough to be married man! on a serious note, do u think u should be serving chicken on your birthday? think about it. anyways, here's a happy birthday coming to you from...um..let's see.. JQ, Stephen, Ronan, Race, and i hope to get the other name ASAP. lol. happy birthday!
thoughts
been a while since the last post. as i used to say to my now-virtually-non-existant diary, i dont have an excuse. just plain lazy. among other things i went to see ady's play the other day. how was it you say? well not bad, considering the only thing i can compare it to is her other play. better script, good music (has the same number of songs as any musical so i was, to tell you the truth, a bit confused as to the purpose of the play. but what the heck, i wont be complaining about good music). and oh, most importantly she wasnt the "one" and the "only" on stage. so tht, i must admit, was a huge relief. but the thing tht got me most was how "real" she was. ok this will make sense only to those who've had long, "emotional" conversations with her. the whole act--crying, "does he love me?", "he doesnt even care enough to ask!" and the crying some more--almost had me repeating my lines in the play. so which which is which? either shes a damn good actor or shes a damn good actor. ahem. anyways enough said and done.
Tuesday, March 14, 2006
Monday, March 13, 2006
guess i owe this post to bodhi. thanx to him i got back to "my fair lady" after eons. come to think of it i could actually list that film as one of my all time faves. at least the soundtrack. so here's to one of the songs which i know to be really really real. i do know what it feels like just to be "on the street where you live". i shall not go into details as to how big a fool i made of myself thanx to this song and my own insanity. but on hindsight it was worth it.
I have often walked down this street before;
But the pavement always stayed beneath my feet before.
All at once am I Several stories high.
Knowing I'm on the street where you live.
Are there lilac trees in the heart of town?
Can you hear a lark in any other part of town?
Does enchantment pour Out of ev'ry door?
No, it's just on the street where you live!
And oh! The towering feeling
Just to know somehow you are near.
The overpowering feeling
That any second you may suddenly appear!
People stop and stare. They don't bother me.
For there's no where else on earth that I would rather be.
Let the time go by, I won't care if I
Can be here on the street where you live.
ps: really really real? huh!? never mind.
I have often walked down this street before;
But the pavement always stayed beneath my feet before.
All at once am I Several stories high.
Knowing I'm on the street where you live.
Are there lilac trees in the heart of town?
Can you hear a lark in any other part of town?
Does enchantment pour Out of ev'ry door?
No, it's just on the street where you live!
And oh! The towering feeling
Just to know somehow you are near.
The overpowering feeling
That any second you may suddenly appear!
People stop and stare. They don't bother me.
For there's no where else on earth that I would rather be.
Let the time go by, I won't care if I
Can be here on the street where you live.
ps: really really real? huh!? never mind.
Thursday, March 09, 2006
Wednesday, March 08, 2006
French blog
recently i've been getting a lot of complaints about the "french-ness" of my blog. no one noticed milton. everyone saw the french. ah well, c'est la vie. but here's a piece of news for my non-existent french connnection. late night radio france internationale--the music's awesome. and for those not linguistically inclined this might interest you--the sheer number of hindi songs played is seriously not funny. any guesses why?
Tuesday, March 07, 2006
The Lonely Night
Through the lonely night the train rushes on,
Ceaseless in its haste,
Stopping for nothing, fearing for times of waste.
Darkness blindfolds time's ever-rushing passenger
Pushing it on to the edge of doom.
Cloaks as dark as the hour of midnight
Cover the train as it rushes on through the lonely night.
Suddenly a tiny ray of light awakens the sleeping giant,
A small ray of hope
Bewildering it, only to be plunged into the depths of blackness.
Sleepy stations fly by, human figures fixed by the harsh light
Of the few bulbs strung carelessly
As if daring to defy the dark.
The stark background engulfs it
And before long it is gone, gone forever into the realms of reality.
The train plunges on into the nightmare of dreams.
The stars above look down upon it.
Cold and distant, they know what it is to rush
They know what it is to be alone.
But the moon is not there
Perhaps it is too large, too garishly bright.
Perhaps it is just the new moon.
But the night knows no reason, no logic, no reality
The train moves on, trying forever to escape
The clutch of a hand as cold as death.
It races with time, wins over it.
Only to be defeated.
Only to be plunged into the pall of despair.
Only to be left rushing through the long, cold, lonely night.
Ceaseless in its haste,
Stopping for nothing, fearing for times of waste.
Darkness blindfolds time's ever-rushing passenger
Pushing it on to the edge of doom.
Cloaks as dark as the hour of midnight
Cover the train as it rushes on through the lonely night.
Suddenly a tiny ray of light awakens the sleeping giant,
A small ray of hope
Bewildering it, only to be plunged into the depths of blackness.
Sleepy stations fly by, human figures fixed by the harsh light
Of the few bulbs strung carelessly
As if daring to defy the dark.
The stark background engulfs it
And before long it is gone, gone forever into the realms of reality.
The train plunges on into the nightmare of dreams.
The stars above look down upon it.
Cold and distant, they know what it is to rush
They know what it is to be alone.
But the moon is not there
Perhaps it is too large, too garishly bright.
Perhaps it is just the new moon.
But the night knows no reason, no logic, no reality
The train moves on, trying forever to escape
The clutch of a hand as cold as death.
It races with time, wins over it.
Only to be defeated.
Only to be plunged into the pall of despair.
Only to be left rushing through the long, cold, lonely night.
Monday, March 06, 2006
me on tv!!!
hey guys, will be on tv for a debate on the 7th evening. think at 7 on bangla ekhon. kinda like self advertising, but wht the hell!!!
Friday, February 17, 2006
Nevermore
Souvernir, souvenir, que me veux-tu? L'automne
Faisait voler la grive a travers l'air atone,
Et le soleil dardait un rayon monotone
Sur le bois jaunissant ou la bise detone.
Nous etions seul a seule et marchions en revant,
Elle et moi, les cheveux et la pensee au vent.
Soudain, tournant vers moi son regard emouvent:
"Quel fut ton plus beau jour?" fit sa voix d'or vivant,
...
Sa voix douce et sonore, au frais timbre angelique.
Un sourire discret lui donna la replique,
Et je baisai sa main blanche, devotement.
-Ah! les premieres fleurs, qu'elle sont parfumees!
Et qu'il bruit avec un murmure charmant
Le premier oui qui sort de levres bien-aimees!
--Paul Verlaine
Faisait voler la grive a travers l'air atone,
Et le soleil dardait un rayon monotone
Sur le bois jaunissant ou la bise detone.
Nous etions seul a seule et marchions en revant,
Elle et moi, les cheveux et la pensee au vent.
Soudain, tournant vers moi son regard emouvent:
"Quel fut ton plus beau jour?" fit sa voix d'or vivant,
...
Sa voix douce et sonore, au frais timbre angelique.
Un sourire discret lui donna la replique,
Et je baisai sa main blanche, devotement.
-Ah! les premieres fleurs, qu'elle sont parfumees!
Et qu'il bruit avec un murmure charmant
Le premier oui qui sort de levres bien-aimees!
--Paul Verlaine
?
what if bad mood and grumpiness were like...well...like things you could simply fold and put away?maybe even frame and then just shove it into some dark corner. makes one wonder at the power of the "what if?"
Thursday, February 16, 2006
dear rahul,
what happens when you see something you've hoped all your life you'll never see? some people become hysterical. some people shut up. some try and shred the past into pieces. it doesnt work. i've tried it. i know. why is it that some people never get what they want? why do you have to have at least one person on that dreaded other side? im tired of explaining the difference between a crush and something more. im fed up of being laughed at by everyone. even those who pretend to understand. maybe after all this, it should just go away. common human decency. should i be careful what i wish for? maybe...i see him. nice. her. a killer. a long time ago i had vowed that i would kill her, without knowing who she was. no wonder my friend didnt believe me. didnt think i had the guts. i didnt. i dont. once some one very nice almost dragged me to meet him. hand-writing analyst. thank you. but what happened? nothing. nothing happens. shit happens, yes. nothing else. sometimes i long for a magic wand to...no, i have a lot to be thankful for. i am. truly. but what do i do with that tiny black&white newspaper cut-out which i tried so hard to blot out, in a cab on a sunny afternoon not so long ago? when will it go away? ever?
Tuesday, February 14, 2006
lo, lola, lolita
this book has something about it. for one thing, it evokes very, very strong emotions.
Thursday, February 09, 2006
train catching
few things to do when you miss your train:
never thought you'd need this huh? well you never know which bond flick script you might be writing next, so go on, take a look.
1. look for a auto driver who does NOT have a f****** cellphone. and even if he does have one, pray to god he does not use it when your rushing to catch the bloody train. ps: why does every soul down south have a frigging phone on them?!!!! were'nt we supposed to be a 3rd world country or something like that? news-flash: it's a totally different world that the south indian (read: bangalorean) auto drivers live in.
2. when you near the station and see a train at the platform from the auto, do not shout (with any form of conviction) "that's a local train". reasons? a) local trains don't have ac sleeper class coaches. b) they don't leave at the exact moment when your train is supposed to leave.
3. if you have any friends already on the train, they must NOT pull the chain. yes i know it looks tempting, but the 1000 rs. fine, especially when you're returning from a financially taxing trip, along with a month's imprisonment is not the ideal solution. go ahead and scream at them, but that red chain is a massive "no no".
4. oh by the way, if you're talking to those very friends on your phone dont ever say "no no, oh shit no!". the line might just get cut and even though you dont want the chain pulled, this could lead to a lot of very heated souls. a better choice? "pull, pull, yes, yes!" (and no, im not running a porno blog.)
5. this one's a beauty. look around for some nutcase who tells you "you're too early for tomorrow's train". boy, all that temper really gets the adrenalin rushing, and trust me, you need that for the rest of the pre-train journey.
6. suddenly see an apparition of a cabbie who's willing to drive you to the next junction for 600 bucks. (you cant be too sure if it's the same bugger who made that guiness record-winning joke). make a dash for it. dump you luggage and yourselves into some squishy omni and pray very hard. your back, butt, knees and leg might ache away to glory. but on the bright side, you won't realize that your whole body is aching. i dunno, but it's one of those crazy tricks tough situations pull on you.
7. looking for a variation? here's one. have one friend call his/her parents 5 mins before train's supposed to leave and say they've not reached station yet, and then have the line cut abruptly. then mistake their no. for your own parent's and actually take that damn call. after that i leave it to your imagination. i'd ideally tell them that we're safely on the train and then hope to high heavens they dont really figure out that no self respecting train ever has a blaring car horn.
8. now comes the interesting bit. look out for all the red lights. sigh. get furious, coz nothing's below 72 secs. then voila! you're past it! zooming ahead of those dumbjock drivers. try counting the number of lights you jump. but take my advice, dont try it. it's way more fun just looking outside open mouthed and thinking "boy, bond must've had one heck of a time!" but this one's seriously not for the faint-hearted. count on having lost at least a few years of your life on that ride. oh and, i know you'll not have the time, try and get the cabbie's address, just in case you want to post him a x-mas card. it's worth it. or better still, keep in touch coz you never know when you'll be late again.
9. once at the other station, run like crazy, bag and all. now you'll know why everyone tells you tyo travel light. but never mind, too late for regrets, just run. ok, when you're throwing your bag on to the tracks to run across the blessed train, never jump before bag. those things are bizarrely designed. even the devil could'nt pull them off the platform without yanking off his arms.
10. anyways, now next to the train. safe, right? wrong. indian railways is one of those things which just might not want your happiness, let alone have you go back home in one piece. they have these dastardly things called general sections. (once described very aptly as "general sex" compartments where the only criteria is that you have to keep up with the sex. think there are no takers for this theory? try contacting JU 3rd year english and ask for chicko.) so you haul yourself and your blessed bags onto this crazy contraption and look around. lo behold! there arent any passages between coaches! why? coz these damn things are'nt connected at all! so off you go again, this time looking for a familiar looking coach. by the time you locate one and are up, bags and all, the trains off again, chugging like a little ol' lady. but thankfully this time you're on it.
11. the last part's easy. just lug everything behind you and go on a cross-train sprint, looking for your compartment. now you know what the members of the fellowship felt like. you also know that once on the train there's no need to run any more, but somehow your body doesn't seem to respond to that logic. and that running with luggage between people who, lets' just say, love their inertia of rest, is a task that would challenge even hercules.
so now that you know what to do, try it sometimes. you could always reach on time, but hey this one's fun too. almost like a movie. especially so when im not in it.
ps: variation: after all this you're still adventurous? go into the next coach for a smoke late at night. finish, come out, and what do you see? you just saw a passage, now you don't. why? coz some jackass just wanted to shut the bloody connecting door. now, dont panic. if you're lucky, the train will have stopped at a station, you'll find some one willing to open the train door for you. a short jump, a quick jog, another jump up and you're home safe! see, it was'nt so difficult now, was it? now if you go into all the possibilities...the train not stopping at a station till say the wee hours of the morning...spending a night with perfect strangers...the train leaving without you on it...again...ah well life's a miracle, aint it!
never thought you'd need this huh? well you never know which bond flick script you might be writing next, so go on, take a look.
1. look for a auto driver who does NOT have a f****** cellphone. and even if he does have one, pray to god he does not use it when your rushing to catch the bloody train. ps: why does every soul down south have a frigging phone on them?!!!! were'nt we supposed to be a 3rd world country or something like that? news-flash: it's a totally different world that the south indian (read: bangalorean) auto drivers live in.
2. when you near the station and see a train at the platform from the auto, do not shout (with any form of conviction) "that's a local train". reasons? a) local trains don't have ac sleeper class coaches. b) they don't leave at the exact moment when your train is supposed to leave.
3. if you have any friends already on the train, they must NOT pull the chain. yes i know it looks tempting, but the 1000 rs. fine, especially when you're returning from a financially taxing trip, along with a month's imprisonment is not the ideal solution. go ahead and scream at them, but that red chain is a massive "no no".
4. oh by the way, if you're talking to those very friends on your phone dont ever say "no no, oh shit no!". the line might just get cut and even though you dont want the chain pulled, this could lead to a lot of very heated souls. a better choice? "pull, pull, yes, yes!" (and no, im not running a porno blog.)
5. this one's a beauty. look around for some nutcase who tells you "you're too early for tomorrow's train". boy, all that temper really gets the adrenalin rushing, and trust me, you need that for the rest of the pre-train journey.
6. suddenly see an apparition of a cabbie who's willing to drive you to the next junction for 600 bucks. (you cant be too sure if it's the same bugger who made that guiness record-winning joke). make a dash for it. dump you luggage and yourselves into some squishy omni and pray very hard. your back, butt, knees and leg might ache away to glory. but on the bright side, you won't realize that your whole body is aching. i dunno, but it's one of those crazy tricks tough situations pull on you.
7. looking for a variation? here's one. have one friend call his/her parents 5 mins before train's supposed to leave and say they've not reached station yet, and then have the line cut abruptly. then mistake their no. for your own parent's and actually take that damn call. after that i leave it to your imagination. i'd ideally tell them that we're safely on the train and then hope to high heavens they dont really figure out that no self respecting train ever has a blaring car horn.
8. now comes the interesting bit. look out for all the red lights. sigh. get furious, coz nothing's below 72 secs. then voila! you're past it! zooming ahead of those dumbjock drivers. try counting the number of lights you jump. but take my advice, dont try it. it's way more fun just looking outside open mouthed and thinking "boy, bond must've had one heck of a time!" but this one's seriously not for the faint-hearted. count on having lost at least a few years of your life on that ride. oh and, i know you'll not have the time, try and get the cabbie's address, just in case you want to post him a x-mas card. it's worth it. or better still, keep in touch coz you never know when you'll be late again.
9. once at the other station, run like crazy, bag and all. now you'll know why everyone tells you tyo travel light. but never mind, too late for regrets, just run. ok, when you're throwing your bag on to the tracks to run across the blessed train, never jump before bag. those things are bizarrely designed. even the devil could'nt pull them off the platform without yanking off his arms.
10. anyways, now next to the train. safe, right? wrong. indian railways is one of those things which just might not want your happiness, let alone have you go back home in one piece. they have these dastardly things called general sections. (once described very aptly as "general sex" compartments where the only criteria is that you have to keep up with the sex. think there are no takers for this theory? try contacting JU 3rd year english and ask for chicko.) so you haul yourself and your blessed bags onto this crazy contraption and look around. lo behold! there arent any passages between coaches! why? coz these damn things are'nt connected at all! so off you go again, this time looking for a familiar looking coach. by the time you locate one and are up, bags and all, the trains off again, chugging like a little ol' lady. but thankfully this time you're on it.
11. the last part's easy. just lug everything behind you and go on a cross-train sprint, looking for your compartment. now you know what the members of the fellowship felt like. you also know that once on the train there's no need to run any more, but somehow your body doesn't seem to respond to that logic. and that running with luggage between people who, lets' just say, love their inertia of rest, is a task that would challenge even hercules.
so now that you know what to do, try it sometimes. you could always reach on time, but hey this one's fun too. almost like a movie. especially so when im not in it.
ps: variation: after all this you're still adventurous? go into the next coach for a smoke late at night. finish, come out, and what do you see? you just saw a passage, now you don't. why? coz some jackass just wanted to shut the bloody connecting door. now, dont panic. if you're lucky, the train will have stopped at a station, you'll find some one willing to open the train door for you. a short jump, a quick jog, another jump up and you're home safe! see, it was'nt so difficult now, was it? now if you go into all the possibilities...the train not stopping at a station till say the wee hours of the morning...spending a night with perfect strangers...the train leaving without you on it...again...ah well life's a miracle, aint it!
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