as i sit by an alien window in an alien land, i wonder what it feels like to belong here. what does it feel like to wake up every morning in this land of bearded trees and thank god for keeping you at home? what does it feel like when you see a stretch of road and think "home stretch!" how does it feel indeed. what i do know is what it is like to miss home. to stare at an empty strech of the afternoon and think of all the places you've ever been with your friends. al those places where you could have bee now. where you're not. the places go on fine. people there go on living. so do you. at least in theory. in part.
you adopt a strategy of blocking things from your mind. try not to think of the voices you cant hear, of the people you cant touch. cant see. sat sagor er pare...
neat rows of houses...manicured lawns. strangers. strange eyes. that's what you fear the most. the way they look at you. if i said i long to be home then that would be an understatement. its nice here...but LA's fine but it ain't home....

shib thakur er desh e

have u seen all those movies where the hero gets caught in a time wrap? the same thing happens over and over again...the same time...that it can happen in real life too is a bit of a disorienting fact. when u go by ur watch that says its 12 noon when its pitch dark outside, u begin to doubt that thing called sanity. so ok, over and done with an entire day. u've imagined what everyone else would have been doing at what particular time, cried over missing it, felt nostalgic...the works. then, voila! the day comes back. in a new land. same watch. same you. and the same time. on a different continent. told you this was going to get freaky. so what do u do in such a situation? plan a) u bravely admit that such anomalies happen more frequently than lack of money in ur pocket. plan b) (and this is the tricky one) u feel like a total dumbass alien. and that, coincidences of all coincidences, is what ur called when u land. legally. theoretically, literally, and im guessing metaphorically. remember all those times when some inner voice told u not to gape at firangs? well it comes right back at ya. and believe me, when u get the "ahem-u-look-kinda-funny-and-u-dont-sound-like-us" look...its really not funny anymore.
problem no. 2. or was it 3? oh what the hell...next problem. everything turns topsy-turvy. literally! (u knw im beginning to think that everything in this place is a litte too literal for my rather esoteric liking). a ride in a car? pleasant enough, say u? well imagine this. u think its the right side, but actually its the wrong one. the way u think they'd crash is exactly how they drive safe. switches turn the other way. taps too. up is down. no wonder that movie was made by an american. only an american cud live so easily with the right-left/up-down concept. plus they tell u the temperature outside is abalmy 82 degrees. u do a double take. balmy, did u hear? balmy? downright batty, i say. farenheit. jeez. whatever happened to degree celsius? i tell u, what this land needed was a good does of british imperialism. then they'd begin to see things the "right way".
so now comes the critical question. is everything all that bad? oh by the way, before i break into my joyful song, it costs $3 for an airport trolley. the next time u push along that wheezy old thing at Netaji Subhash airport, remember someone up there is warning u to count ur blessings, and count them fast.
oh yes. now to the nice part. things are clean, things move fast, no noise. overall a nice place. having said that glorious line, i now ask u to sit down and seriously ponder upon the connotations and varied interpretations of "nice".

it's been raining almost non-stpo for the past few days. i think all this rainy weather calls for a post. wow. of all the lame excuses i have come up with, this has to be the lamest. or the best. it might be a psychologically interesting question as to why i look for excuses in the first place. you could call me a compulsive lier. maybe there are some dark freudian explantions behind my behaviour. alright, shut up.
now the question comes, if i shut up, then who talks? im not expressing my deep seated curiosity as to the pseech-abilities of all of mankind. what i mean was, if i dont talk then who talks here? if no one talks here then what happens to the blog? if no posts are put up then this just becomes another useless piece of junk occupying a bit of cyberspace already loaded with useless pieces of junk. hence, in the interest of all of humanity and of cyberspace, i keep writng.