eshechhe sarat, pujor porosh and all that jazz. well eta ke sarat bole beshi bola hobe na. pujor porosh porjonto achhe. you see each day and swear that it is so much more beautiful than the one before. it couldnt possibly get prettier. and then you see the next day. and it is prettier. so all that is there. majhe majhe ekta pujo puo gondho-o paoa jaye. kintu byas okhanei shesh. ar kichhu nei. not a moment tp spare. run run run. and just wen you think you're done running, you just have to put yourhead down and run some more. sometimes i get the feeling that i am the one i am trying to beat. how far can you push yourself. after that magical week in scotland i havent seen another moment when i can truly say that i havent had a care in the world. mom told me that it is time to grow up. part of that involves no more whining. shotti-i to, ar keu keno shunte chaibe? kharap lagchhe, mon mejaj gorom hoye achhe, jai chai tai nagaler baire. keu keno shunte chaibe eta? tar cheye borong ami-i shuni lok er dukkher kotha. conceptually better. better to be the sufferer than the one inflicting the suffering. has no connection to what i was writing. but it's there anyway.
okay, so i'm venting. big deal. tell me, who cares? really, who does? nobody. and i dont blame them. that is the logical thing to do. i'm just going to have to go back to that mirror of mine. repeat after me: my life is perfect. i want nothing more. i am so happy. thrilled to bits.