late.

am late. as usual. its not like i leave home late or anything. its just that somehow or the other i am late for office. mebbe its just my distaste for this place. could be. well by now i have almost spent a month here. i have got to know quite a few people and they are by and large nice. well i guess wht i truly dislike is the fact that i have no way out of here. no, im cribbing again and that was not my intention.
well my intion then? just to post a blog. coz i havent done so in a while. bodhi keeps visiting my blog to say "she's ALIVE". well yeah dude i am. barely. but yes alive. alive and bored.
so what's new? the weather actually. its brilliant. today when i left home a storm arose. (storm arose? tht right? oh what the hell!) and the storm was brilliant. grey skies, wind blowing, leaves flying all over the place, the wind picking paper up and making little eddies of paper and rubbish. and people. thats the most brilliant part of a storm. people seem happy. free. carefree even. i love that. in fact, i love almost everything about storms. and then the rain comes. in thick, fat droplets. first a few. just to make you wonder where the water was coming from. then you look up. and sploch! one on your nose, the next on your cheek. one, two, three...a million. all of nature seems caught up in this happy dance. the tree leaves dance, the little multi coloured puddles dance...happy, happy, happy.
then after the rain. soft. wet. a little cold. birds sit on trees, their feathers all a mess. people pass you by, dripping. dripping umbrellas, sighing as they are closed after a good days work. happy. squish-squash go rubber slippers. wet clothes. clinging. water dripping from your hair. happy. a little cold and a lot wet. but happy. happity-happy.
then night falls and darkness gathers. a wet darkness. still semi-drenched. wet sighs. frogs, crickets, insects. everything bonded by a little water. a lot of water.
then? steaming cups of teas. hot pakoras. gorom gorom muri telebhaja. television. good adda. a cosy warmth that can come only after a drenching. draw your knees right up to your chin, sit close to mommy and talk of all the grand things you plan to do. happy.
outside the rain starts again. this time its not playful. this time its not a happy dance. hard and unforgiving, it banishes the rest of humanity from its sight. harder and harder it comes down, drowning streets, roads and the signs of life. you sit inside. warm and cozy. khichuri and alu bhaja safely disposed of. the tv has finally run out of things to show. talk no longer flows. as if afraid of the rain outside, it oozes. slowly. drips. slower...stops. draw the chador tight around you. lights out. everybody softly sinks to sleep. drowsy, you look out the window. the rain drops still dance, freed by the night. the street lamp creates a rainbow. distorted rainbow. splish. splosh.splish.splosh.......

just bored, tired, sleepy, hungry, sad, upset, angry....

another year. another exam. things seemed a bit diluted this time. coz i wasnt as involved as other times. how could i be with this darned office thing?!!! reached college so late today and i could hardly stay after it was over. such lovely weather outside. the last place i want to be in is this office. but what choice do i have? zilch. zilch, zilch, zilch.
felt a bit bad about fighting with mum this morning. i did not want to fight. but just coz i have office cant mean i cant go to college. especially on admissions day. mum is right about them not needing me. but then i need them. would she understand that bit? i dont know. mebbe she will. she just wants me to be ok, both physically and mentally. i understand her point too. but i have to do certain things too. life is so fucking confusing.
i know for certain the one thing that i like to do. that i want to do. have no one controlling my share of time. no one to tell me when to go where. no one to tell me that i cant leave when i want to. no one to bother me. ideal? i know. so who doesnt want an ideal life? i know at some point in time i will have to work to earn a living. and i know saying that i am still too young to be doing that is just being a shirker. but hey what's life without a dream??????????

reasons not to wear sleeveless to office

statesman has one amazing thing. there is no dress code here. people wear what they feel like.friday dressing galore.more like a sad residue of college. so i felt emboldened. took the plunge and wore a sleeveless top. and boy do i regret it. remember those frigging acs i had talked to you about? well it seems like they do work afterall. especially when you choose to leave your sleeves at home. the upshot? i am freezing. outside feels glorious. warmth! blessed warmth!!!! god! just yesterday i was like, sheesh its colder outside than in here. looks like someone up there heard me and, for once, was on statesman's side. so here i sit, hugging myself in a vain attempt to warm me up. would they let me off if i told them that i was feeling cold? hm...now what could the chances of that happening be?

some stories...never told

machines here are bizarre. some open this site. some refuse to point blank. some are rather polite. they will lead u on with the hope that some day u will reach your destination. all too soon you begin to believe. all too soon you are brought crashing down. the realities of a blank screen. hopes. false hopes. the world is too full of them already. what need do statesman's machines have to add to that ever growing list????

Unique, by a thousand miles

wishful thinking

lazy sunday afternoons by the sea. the proverbial sun-kissed white sand. baobab trees gently swaying in the breeze. a cool shade. a cooler sea. soft lazy waves lapping the shore...kids in multi-coloured sea gear. sand castles, sand pools, clear blue-green water. beer bottles by the side, half buried in the sand. just perfecting the art of laziness...oh before i forget...amazing lunches...stuffed on heavenly food. living life. enjoying it. not merely existing.
think im trying to make you jealous? think again. just trying to relieve happy memories. happier days, happier times. innocent times. in all likelihood this entry's maing as much sense as a pea-fowl's, but what the hell. wish i was at home. then i could upload a few pics. never mind, will do that soon.
downloading the weather right now. gonna be a very hot day tomorrow. the weather dept is funny. everytime i call them they say "Likhun, discomfort day.." what the crap is a "discomfort day" anyway????
i may get to make pages today!!!! hooray!!!! tomorrow when people read the statesman (however few, ahem) they might just read a page made by me...ah the day-dreams...

office. again.

right. 3rd saturday at office. saturdays are usually quiet around here. no pluses go on tomorrow so a lot of people have their off days today.
there's this thing with the astrological predictions in the afternoon statesman and me. never never never do they have anything good for me. today they had this one thing. i was to go on a shopping spree. i was! i really was supposed to go to new market to buy cloth for a couple of new kurtas. as usual was too lazy to get out of the house early. and hence no shopping. must do this one of these days. umm...mebbe monday or something. what are the chances of me going to JU and then going to new market and then going for work? pretty close to zilch im guessing. ok ok, i will do it soon. gosh, i need to pushed and prodded to go shopping!!!! not that. im just short on time. plus lazy. i have to admit that one.
hm...so what now? right now is too early for work. stories dont come in so early. the work effectively begins from say 6 when you have to sub the stories so that pages can start getting made by 8. their deadline is 10 pm but ive never seen them finish on time. so i guess its sort of a guideline, more than a proper deadline. things do get done by 11 though. but that's early city. late city stuff happen til later. there arent significant changes. but there are some. and what with the world cup there are definately changes in the sports section.
the sports guys are real fun. had a nice chat yesterday. my immediate boss was absent yesterday so had virtually nothing to do. plus some awesome games were on. go argentina!!!! well anyhow, i actually asked mum to send the car in a little later. not cause i had any work to do. but cause i was chatting. hehehe!!!! what a turnaround!!!!!

i have nothing to do. hence a post. strange--do i write posts only when i have nothing to do? but then that shudnt be the case. does that mean i dont really like writing? or i dont have time for writing. oooffff. how terribly inane. i guess it would have been better had i decided not to post. but now that i am here, i might as well make use of the time. having said that, wht do i put?
looks like all the rahuls are in news. funny but they are ALL called rahul!!!! how came this to pass? that right english? i have my gravest doubts. and i complain of bad english. but i swear the purulia copies i do are so so so SO bad!!!!
harshe's counting the no. of shots cambiasso took to score the goal. everyone's an expert. sigh!

things to think about

they have this thing called the world cup diaries. maybe i should start one for office. saturday sundays at statesman are like weekends at any other office. things are generally slower, fewer people turn up. but since this is the business of running a newspaper, every frigging day is a working day.
i thought a lot about this work yesterday. the primary question is--is this what i really want to do? i know if i stick to it i wont be sub-editing for the rest of my life. but do i want to deal with news and reports? then again, there's this thing about french. i want to finish it. i want to learn german, russian, spanish, greek, latin and sanskrit.ok so that is going to take me aa better part of my life. but hey people have dreams. i want to learn them. plus there's linguistics. honestly one might think that im just trying to create a world so tht i can show-off to people. but that's not my intention at all. these are things that i love. nothing interests me as much as language does. the nuances of a language, the intricacies of its usage, its development through time--all this fascinates me. and i think that is as good a reason as any for me to work in that area.
having said that, i do not plan to quit on this one either. i have never run away from anything. dad and mom both tell me that i am not a shirker. just because i havent enjoyed the first few days, does not mean that i am not going to stick to something i have decided to give a shot. that is just not my style. yes you might say that i am trying to prove a point. but that is not to anyone else. not to the world. not to my parents. just to me. i have to do this.

there's this window in office--all boarded up with transparent plastic, thanks to the barely working acs--through which you get a glimpse of a time gone by,of an era which you can see only through boarded up windows. there are old run down houses there. just their rooftops. but that's all you need. there's one house which has a garden chair on the roof. rusty and neglected,somehow, it still manages to retain its charm. who sat there? on which windy evening overlooking the still growing calcutta? who thought what there? love thoughts? happy thoughts? sad,crushing ones? who sat there? amidst the ruins and overgrowth, i can still see all those generations, taking their evening stroll on that rooftop.or then again sunny winter afternoon. a little girl and her mother.oranges.warm, sweet smelling blankets. the winter sun. where did all those years go? where did all those people go?

there's nothing like home. no place like it. really. mum's taken to feeding me after office. quite a lovely treat. promised mum l'll be with her in 2 mins so this one's just to say helo to my keyboard and to admire my typing speed. im on a "confidence boosing trip" so i'll just ignore the typos ok? hehehe...who gives a damn neways? piyu seems to look for a opening at statesman. poor kid. if she only knew...na na...not fair of me. i wont scare neone off. just let them come and get freaked off. speaking of which am quite freaked out myself. u know why. qont get into it. well i know for a fact tht im being silly. well then i am going to be silly till i find a way to stop being silly. god this keyboard sounds like a frigging type writer! dad would go berserk if he saw it!!! lol!!!!

lows, lows and a few highs

grave universal fact--no job can be called fun. i seriously question those that say that they have a "fun" job. long hours, virtually no time to call your own, generally feeling trapped--sounds melodramatic? well then im afraid thats precisely how i am. enough of work related shit.
saw fanna yesterday. now i know why i might support the ban. i mean im all for freedom of expression nd all tht, but this kind of shit hs to be banned. its a three hour long torture session. it sucked so bad that after a point of time i just quite watching it. i think i must have fallen sleep or something like. havent seen such a boring, inane, unrealistic film in a very long time.
on the one good note--its world cup time!!!! im little bugged by this brazil mania, but things should be fun. one question, why is it that i am always the one who is opposed to popular taste? not the first time i have noticed this. gut feeling says it wont be the last time...

at office

did not believe i would be ever doing this. am sitting in office and typing blogs. am not too sure if im allowed to this or not. but what the hell. im still new. this is the famed statesman. hallowed. glorious. whatever. frankly speaking, i hate it. i just want to go back home. never thought i'd love the sight of home this much.
what is most appalling is the kind of stories i have to handle. (like everyone else i guess). egs? ok here goes. today i've done a story of muslims worshipping hindu goddesses, well constructors beibng saved and maoist alerts being issued. plus some dumb grievances. ok i have a grievance of my own. the people who write in those stuff shud at least get the english right!!!!!!!disaster!
neways, more later.