obviously im back. nothing special about it. sadly nothing new. i wish there was. there are imes when i start to envy other people for the happiness in their lives. how sad and low can a person go? this has to be pretty close to the lowest.
but let's try a new tack. imagine this is the composition class. write about where you are. the campus can look pretty. on days. like today. cloudy. cold. windy. and pretty. tree-lined avenues, snug little coffee shops. see i can say nice things about the place. a bit lonely but usually a good book can cure that.
actually why dont i say nice things about this place? because im afraid i'll grow to like t and then not want to leave? i doubt. but maybe there is an element of truth in that statement as well. maybe i am shutting myself off from enjoying. maybe i cannot or for some freak reason do not enjoy it here. oh i like the way i put that! "some freak reason" indeed! how hypocritical can u be?!
i should do something about my office. looks rather...how should i put it....empty. white walls dont make for stimulating viewing u know. or maybe they do for minds more creatively charged than mine. i need to put something up. i will try and decorate. deadeningly white.
shoulders straightened (i do slouch an awful lot), chin up. onward to battle. or the next cup of coffee. and a smoke. hmm....this is getting rather inviting.
ps. "awful lot", "rather inviting". no wonder i dont fit in. bloody brit.

money money money...is seriously funny

happy thoughts and happy posts. i have been told that m blog is becoming a tad depressing. i think i see logic in that. hence the desperate drive for change. on a happy note, i have been defrauded of $2200. how happy? well im not quite sure but for some obscurely weird reason i find this situation to be rather amazing. isnt this what they all say about money? easy come easy go? wll hopefully not this easy go. hopefully i shall get the money back. please oh please do not ask me how i landed myself in such a mess. i seem to be specializing in such messes. well not that i lose such vast amounts on a daily basis, but just that i seem to be perpetually in some scrape or the other. on a secondary train of thought (why not plane or car or bicycle i wonder. how very poststructuralist), if i did have such vast amounts of money to be lost on a regular basis (now i can finally pinpoint the sadist in me) that would certainly say something about me. wouldn't it? i mean, mum would have absolutely no grounds for saying that i spend too much. i simply get defrauded. im tickled pink.
the sad story all started with one silly email which i, in my infinite genius, thought to be a genuine mail. out goes the account information and hey presto! i have a debi card fraud on me pretty lil hands. aint it al just mar-ve-doo! bank lady has been very nice. told me to go file a report with the police. e ki jadavpur thana-e giye library card harano-r jonne diary kora naki! ki abdar! jai hok, now i shall make my weary way to the cops to tell them my sad story. im positive they'll think me to be the freshest idiot to have ever walked the famed american soil. and i do not blame them.
as of now i shall consider my options. mope. moan. wail. hmm....im certainly imaginative.