names and chanachur

there are moments when u wish u cud blog in bengali. not the transliterated gibberish that one is forced to put up in the name of bengali. the words. the nuances. the little twists that can only be understood when u dont have to break through the maze of english alphabets. but till then, this is my chosen language. this is the language's chosen me. perhaps that is a bit presumptuous. it is. i had to check extensively before i could rest assured that i was not maing a major spelling gaffe. gaffe. faux pas. nice words. im rather attached to them. they seem to define my actions the best. well that i am sure is not what one might call a flattering description of the self. the "other", more revealing self, has taken over now. the "other" of the "self". l'autre du soi. dear lord. i believe it is high time i look beyond theory. im beginning to think in theory. then relate things. my my, what arrogance!
i had a pretty firm idea in my heade that i would call this post "chanachur and chirebhaja". i started with "chanachur and muribhaja" but chire seemed to a better option. but now i see no reason to continue with such nomenclature. not that i did back then, but back then the sheer eccentricity of it seemed appealing. now it seems stretched. mundane. i believe i am becoming my own critic. or critique. or both? or neither? how about a change from this (and i assure you i believe this entirely) rather monotonous discussion.
where to milady? chalao panshi belghoria. aj amar hathe odhel shomoye. er por kichu na korle poche jabe. tai a frantic bid to finish it all. oooh, that had a lovely melodramatic touch to it. i think it's time to call quits.